Wedding Planning - The Ish They Don’t Tell You
"Hire a wedding planner!" - I heard it over and over as soon as we got engaged. Given the facts that I dabble in corporate event planning, and that I'm big into taking on things I may not be able to handle, I decided against it. I was confident that I could handle it. And then we found out we were moving across the country from our venue & all of our vendors. Well Emily, Miss Self Proclaimed Wedding Planner, fake it till you make it!
As I sit here now 5 days post-wedding, I couldn't be happier that I kept my hands in every single detail of this process. I want to tell you how I did it, how I saved money, what I decided to splurge on, & hopefully let you in on some of the things that will pop into your mind in the middle of the night in the weeks leading up to your day.
If I had to sum up all of my advice into one point, it would be to have a long engagement. Aside from the fact that it makes the wedding planning process 100x less stressful, being engaged is FUN. You know you will end up married, so why rush? Rock that bling and take your time.
One of the most common questions that I got throughout the process is "where do I start?" Start with booking your venue and your vendors! If you are passionate about a certain venue, do that first. If you are passionate about a certain photographer, reach out for their availability before you get your heart set on a venue that might not match up. Once you're ready to get going on vendor selection, my advice would be to identify what is really important to you. The most important thing to us was capturing the day so that years from now we can revisit it, and further down the road our children and grandchildren can revisit it with us. If it's important to you - don't cut corners. Now, this is not to say that you need to hire the most expensive photographer! Get several quotes, set up phone calls, and go with the vendors that you vibe with and whose style matches yours. You're going to be with them all day on the most important day of your life, you gotta love them! I went with Stephanie Craig Photography and Some Fuzzy Videography. They were beyond incredible. When it comes to selecting a venue, get creative! You don't have to go to a hotel and pay $50k just to say you're having your wedding there. We got married at a prep school and not only was it MUCH cheaper, we had so much freedom to do what we wanted with the venue and really build from square one. That being said, it's a lot more work that way. Fake it till you make it, my little planners!
Once I established these big details, it was time to identify my bride tribe! This was lowkey one of the most difficult parts. I could have easily had 15 bridesmaids (lol, humble brag) but decided on 8. It was tough but good friends will understand that and will support you throughout the process regardless. I had a TON of support from non-bridesmaids, those are the kinds of friends you know to hang onto! I would recommend not spending a lot on the bridesmaid proposals. It's truly the sentiment that counts. I had all of my girls over my apartment and gave them small gifts, but then we just drank and ate and partied all night and it was the best. You're going to lean on these girls for a lot so don't rush into it! I personally had the best maid of honor (humble brag #2) and truly couldn't have done it without her. It's important, y'all!
Then comes THE DRESS! I'll keep it brief here - find a shop that is going to respect your budget. I went to Alexandra's in Fall River, MA and had the best experience. My consultant didn't bring me a single dress over my budget, even when I begged to try on my "dream dress" from my pinterest board. I will say this - brace yourself for alteration prices. This was a huge shock to the system for me. Don't cut corners on this. It sucks but you want it to be perfect. Don't buy a veil at the dress boutique. I tried on one that was $400 and found the very same thing online for $16. Be smart, it's just a piece of fabric.
Another place where you can save big: DECOR. Can you remember what the centerpieces looked like at the last wedding you went to? Do you remember if the groomsmen were wearing boutonnières? Do you remember what the welcome sign and guest book signs looked like? Where are the flip flops you got from the bathroom basket now? Exactly. I actually asked myself questions like this constantly throughout the process and I advise you to spend money where YOU want it, and where people will remember it. I got 100% of our physical decor off of either Amazon or Etsy, or went DIY. You can find great things in bulk on Amazon, and I just love supporting small businesses on Etsy & the personal touches you can do for cheap! In terms of signage, you really don't need as much as you think. We went with an 'unplugged ceremony' sign (template from Etsy and printed at Staples), a 'find your table' board (handmade by my amazing sisters), and a signature drink menu (made by my wonderful MOH and printed at home). You don't need a guest book sign, you don't need programs, you don't need a welcome sign. You just don't, trust me. We didn't do boutonnieres and our centerpieces were just greens and cheap candles. They were gorgeous! I didn't do bathroom baskets. Everyone has what they need and if they don't, someone else does. Everyone knows what a guest book looks like and where to put the cards. Just because it's on pinterest doesn't mean you need it. SAVE IT!
Perhaps the toughest part about being engaged - you need (or think you need) SO. MANY. OUTFITS. A lot of you asked where I got alllll of the white things. I found amazing stuff for reasonable prices on Vici, Lulus, and even Shein. A lot of it you will only wear once so try not to break the bank.
If you know me, you know I'm not really the person to come to for dieting/beauty tips but I'll let you in on the few things that I tried to maintain. Drink A LOT of water. Not only will it make your skin and hair better, it will make you feel better. You'll also look less bloated if you're into that sort of thing! My hair sucks, so I took collagen daily and really noticed a difference. I picked up my cardio game slightly, but also mixed in things like pilates to balance it out and not burn out. Take rest days, lots of them. Wash your face and moisturize. Wear sunscreen on your face every day. Don't go crazy on a diet - it will make you sad and irritable. That's all I got for ya in that department.
One of the most important parts of wedding planning were all of the lists I made - on my phone, on random pieces of paper, in text form to my MOH - so it's only fitting to close this with a list for you.
Random things I learned that I want you to know:
Alteration costs are a bitch. Yeah, I said it twice.
The small day-of details will figure themselves out, but only if you DELEGATE. Give your vendor cards to someone to give to them. Assign someone to be responsible for taking the card box home (luckily our Best Man knew to do this from experience). Give the MC a timeline of when to move into the next thing.
Things will run behind schedule. It literally does not matter.
The only person who will notice if things go wrong is you.
Delete all weather apps from your phone until 5 days out. Just trust me.
Assign someone to take an iPhone photo of you and your spouse, you're going to want one the next day!
People don't want to dance to the same music they hear at every wedding. What music do YOU like? Play that. I took a risk on this and my dance floor was LIT (humble brag #3).
Open bar doesn't have to mean endless possibilities. We saved money by offering 3 beers & a cider, 1 red, 1 white, 1 rosé, 1 type of vodka, 1 type of tequila, 1 type of whiskey, & 1 type of rum. People will be happy and so will your wallet.
Take it all in. You'll get this advice 1 million times. One way that I managed to do it was to consciously notice what song was playing when I was feeling overwhelmed. What do you hear, what do you see, what do you feel...take it in!
Do a first look! It was both of our favorite part and it allowed us to be way more relaxed for the rest of the day.
Serve food that you love. Ours? Mac and cheese bar, taco bar, mashed potato bar. It was so freakin' good and we haven't stopped hearing compliments about it. No one wants green beans.
While planning was definitely stressful at times and I'm LOVING being married, I'd do it all again in a heartbeat. It's all about your attitude and taking your time. Or if you really don't want to do it, hire someone (hi, I'm available). But you got this, I promise.
I'm here for you!
xoxo,
Mrs. Collins
