2016 - 2020: what will we tell our children?

I’m an extrovert. I get that from my mom. I’m hyper-aware of my surroundings at all times. I get that from my dad.

As a kid, I looked constantly to my parents to determine how I should react to situations or periods of time. I remember the first time I had a stomach bug and was old enough to realize how awful throwing up was. “It’s ok”, my mom told me, “all that’s happening is an argument between the bad germs and the good germs in your tummy and the good germs are pushing the bad germs out.” As I got older, their explanations of things as small as stomach bugs and as monumental as war stuck with me just the same. On 9/11, my dad was honest with me. He told me it wasn’t an accident. It was done by very bad people and our leaders would have to do something to stop them from hurting us again. As the youngest sibling at the time, this concept of revenge was one that I was always advised against. I didn’t understand it, but I accepted his words as truth and I remember them today.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately about how I will explain the last four years to my future children. How do I explain that nearly half of the country voted for a bad man? How will I make sure they see the bright spots in time that had such great darkness? I was raised to tell the truth, and they deserve to hear it.

I’ll tell them how a woman had a chance, but was held to different standards. Regardless of their gender, they’ll know that it is their responsibility to lift women up. They will know that women are not to be doubted just because they are women. There will be no excuses or exceptions.

I’ll tell them that not all, but many of the people who supported this president have hatred in their hearts. I’ll tell them that not all, but many of them value their bank accounts more than they value some human beings. I’ll tell them that many of them simply didn’t know better. But in our house that won’t be an excuse.

I’ll tell them that this affected us directly. That I never expected to hear the words “white power” broadcasted on the radio. I never expected to be the victim of a hate crime. I never thought black people would still be murdered unjustly. I never expected to see a violent mob overtake our Capitol building. I never expected to have to go to work day in and day out and pretend these things weren’t going on around me. But I’ll tell them how it made us stronger as a family. I’ll tell them that their father was brave. I’ll tell them how our family and friends rallied around us and in the streets.

I’ll tell them how this pandemic caught us all off guard. How we felt a real lack of leadership but we never felt alone. I can’t wait to tell them how many days and nights we spent in the house with nothing but each other. By then I’m sure this concept will be difficult to believe. They’ll see photos of all of our travel and events that took place before and after the pandemic and they’ll wonder how we did it. I’ll tell them how it made us grateful for the little things. They’ll be grateful for them, too.

I’ll raise them to understand that leadership isn’t just about policies. I’ll tell them that leaders have a responsibility to respect all people. I’ll teach them how to be respectful, even when they disagree. I will make sure they are better at this as children than our last president was as an adult.

I’ll tell them that this presidency lit a flame within so many young people, myself and their aunts included. The bad guy won, but he gave a lot of good guys & girls a voice. He broke their hearts but he could not break their spirits. I'll tell them that it’s these young people who made all the difference in the end, and I’ll encourage them to live with purpose.

They’ll be shocked that someone like the 45th president could have ever been elected, but I won’t lie and tell them no one wanted it this way.

I’ll tell them that as unpleasant as the process might be sometimes, you always have to get the bad germs out of your system. I’ll make sure they know that it’s the people who lift women, the people who fight for people who look different than themselves, and the people who know respect won in the end.

I’ll make sure they’re excited to join them.

When they ask if the bad guys are still around, I’ll tell them the truth. They’re still here. But we took away their microphone.