Nine Months With You

Sweet Baby C,

As I write this, you could be joining us any day now! At the most, it will be just a couple of weeks. I cannot wait to meet you, but it’s still a little bittersweet. For nine months you’ve been part of me 24 hours a day…some days it felt like more, ha. But for all of those hours, I’ve been a part of everything you’ve done. I love feeling you grow and move, even when that means lodging your foot in my ribcage so you can stretch those long legs. I love knowing you’re okay with one reassuring nudge. Most of all, I love knowing you’re safe. Physically, it’s just been you and me, connected every step of the way. How am I supposed to keep you this safe when the rest of the world has a say?

Being pregnant with you has been both the hardest and most amazing thing I’ve ever done. We’re going to teach you all about respecting women but if one day you have a family of your own, you’ll really see how powerful the strength of a woman is. Thank you for showing me what I’m capable of, even on the hard days. You’ll always be my first baby and the one who taught me so much. Some days I feel like I’m going to miss having you inside!

But I can’t wait to see you. Since you are biracial, we really don’t know what you look like! You’re so lucky to have a variety of genetic backgrounds making you who you are and will become. Your dad and I wonder all the time what you will be like. Will you have his drive, my empathy, his energy, my lack of patience? Will you like sports or music or art or theatre or all of the above? We hope you give it all a try and we hope you know we’ll support you no matter what. Your dad and I both love to read and write. He loves movies and history and I love music and theatre. You’re being born in New York City where the sky is the limit and the options are endless. We can’t wait to see it all through your eyes.

Most of all, I can’t wait to share you with your dad. He’s been waiting so patiently to be able to feel a deeper connection with you. I know he’s going to put a lot of time and effort into helping develop the boy and man you will become, and you can count on him being a really good listener. He is so excited to hear what you have to say. Above all, you’ll always be able to trust him. If he says he’s going to do something – he’ll do it. He’ll be there when you need him, and when you don’t. You’re going to love each other so much.

Hurry up and get here, but don’t grow up too fast. We’ll see you soon, little man.

Love,

Mama