The First Trimester
Dear Baby C,
Your dad always had confidence that you would come to us easily. To be honest, I wasn’t quite as sure. You’re lucky enough to be born into a time where women are much more vocal about fertility struggles and how difficult it can be to create a little miracle like you. Well, your dad was right. It was November 28th, 2021 when I had a feeling you might be in there. I purchased some tests without telling your dad and impatiently waited for the next morning to come. November 29th, you were officially ours.
I couldn’t believe it. I sat there in our tiny bathroom with my jaw dropped and tears in my eyes. I couldn’t wait for your dad to get home. When you meet your dad, you’ll understand that he’s got a beautiful mind that is always thinking about the big picture. He was flooded with questions that ultimately all came down to him calling you what you are - his dream come true.
We spent the next 4+ weeks keeping you as our favorite secret. We started learning everything we could about you and this new version of me. I also spent a lot of time sleeping - you sure did tire me out! One day you will unfortunately know what a hangover feels like. That, my love, is how you had me feeling for about 5 weeks. I only succumbed to my nausea once during the first trimester, and we have your brother Cash’s stinky poop to thank for that. I didn’t crave anything too crazy - mostly sour candy and spicy food which are my favorite things always. You wouldn’t let me eat eggs or meat for a couple of weeks there and your dad was very worried about my protein intake. He’s alllll about the protein! I was able to stay pretty active, but towards the end of the first trimester you started wreaking havoc on my lower back. I’m doing my best to keep moving because I know I’ll have to keep up with you pretty soon!
On December 20th I got the best Christmas gift ever - I heard your heart beat! You were just 6.5 weeks and already so strong. Your dad and I selected a black female doctor to help us bring you into the world. It’s important to us that you have diversity in your life, starting from the very first second!
We told your grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins about you in the first days of 2022. They were so excited! While it was fun keeping you a secret for a while, your dad and I were happy to have someone to talk about you with! We started talking about whether you would be a boy or a girl, if you would have as much energy as your cousin Noah, and what room would be best for you in our beloved Manhattan apartment. You’re a city baby! We cannot wait for the exciting and enriching lessons this will bring to all of us.
Everyone is so happy that you are with us. Your dad talks to you every night and says good morning on mornings when you and I are awake (he wouldn’t dare wake us up if not). Grandpa Crocker sleeps with your photo on his night stand every night and your Mimi and Grammie ask about you all the time. Auntie Jess is already planning your baby shower - this will not be surprising once you get to know her. Your aunts Isabelle, Hannah, & Grace can’t believe how small you are and how you can possibly have finger and toenails, nostrils, and vocal cords.
Your dad and I hope that you will be kind, respectful, active, curious, and musical. When we found out you were a baby boy, we were overjoyed. I hope you are just like your dad…but with my sense of rhythm.
I love you so much,
Mama
